Stories of Winter

New toys

2012-02-10T09:03:00.000-08:00

As I was deadlifting at the gym yesterday, scraping the crap out of my shins, which now look like they belong on a clumsy 5 yr old, I decided I had had enough.

I saw these socks a while ago (ps-that website. Omg. I WANT IT ALL.), and new immediately that they would, some day, be mine.

That day is now. My shins NEEEEEEDED these, obvs. Plus, they're clearly 100% awesome and need to live with me.

So now they're mine.

Both colors.

Oops.

Our First Lady can probably kick your ass.

2012-02-08T08:16:00.000-08:00

Regardless of political beliefs, I think having a First Lady who can pump out pushups and rock the hell out of yoga pants is pretty rad. Get it, guuuurl!

(Reader readers, click through for the video...apparently)

Picture of the Day

2012-02-07T07:35:00.000-08:00

Last night I had to say bye to Nicole, because she's moving to Chicago. I cried. Hard. If my best friends could stop moving to or towards the east coast, that'd be great.

We live, literally, 3 ft away from each other. We email/chat all day, and hang out almost every night. We did everything together. Workout, drink coffee, drink wine, eat all the things, buy all the shoes, troll all the sales, mock all the people. She's my only friend here, and shit's about to get lonely as a muh.

Without further adieu (ado? adu?), I give you an appropriately blurred picture of my hetero life partner and I acting a fool in the middle of the mall.

Because that's what we do.

Picture of the Day

2012-02-06T03:46:00.000-08:00

Cutest thing of all the things.

2012-02-05T12:08:00.000-08:00

Dierks Bentley and his daughter.

I DIE.

Picture of the Day

2012-02-05T11:10:00.000-08:00

LeGreg and I went to the coast yesterday. It was 70 degrees and crystal clear. I'll never quit you, California!

The Shoes I'm Rocking Today

2012-02-03T10:18:00.000-08:00

Haven't done one of these in a while!

After I signed up for the City Slickers Tour, I obviously had to go buy boots to ride in. My aunt recommended these, and she actually USES them, so I'm trusting her judgement.

The 80 lb waif at Boot Barn said that they should be snug when I buy them, because the leather will stretch. Well, snug they are, which is why I'm looking like a total poser at work today in hopes of breaking them in.

Gotta do what you gotta do, right?

Picture a Day

2012-02-01T12:30:00.000-08:00

Well well well. Look at who's a REAL adult now.

I need glasses

2012-01-31T08:10:00.000-08:00

A couple months ago, I was banging around in the kitchen when I opened the food cabinet and noticed something. A stemless wine glass. At the back of the cupboard. How...strange.

I reached back there and pulled it out.

A dirty broken stemless wine glass. In my food cupboard.

Totally perplexed, I said to LeGreg, "Why would there be a dirty broken wine glass in my food cupboard?" as I stared at it trying to piece together the puzzle.

Wait.

"Unless someone was trying to hide a dirty broken wine glass from me....?".

I looked over at him and got that guilty, wide eyed, half smile look.

"Well! See! I was washing the dishes! That's good, right? You like it when I wash the dishes! And then! This pot! It shifted in the sink! And knocked the wine glass over! And it cracked and I panicked and I put it in the cupboard."

Me: Why didn't you just throw it away?

LeGreg: Ummm...I don't know."

Me: And why wouldn't you just tell me? Those glasses were $.49/ea from the Goodwill.

LeGreg: Umm...I don't know. I panicked and thought I could replace it before you knew it was gone!

Apparently I'm a raging asshole to be feared, I guess.

But seriously, the thought of him shopping for stemless wine glasses is laughable. That whole "bull in a china shop" thing? Yeah. Accurate.

So I was down 25% of my stemless wine glasses.

Fast forward about a month. A month of me asking when my replacement was going to make an appearance. It's...ODD....only having 3 wine glasses. See what I did there? Happy Tuesday, folks.

He was washing the dishes again (SO appreciated, and that is no joke. I hate doing dishes.), when he yells.

Me: What happened?!

LeGreg: I knew that effing glass was slippery, so I was holding it really close to the sink. It still dropped and I tried to catch it. It had already broken, though, and I jammed my finger into the broken glass.

And now I'm woozy.

It isn't even necessarily blood, it's just injuries that totally and completely freak me out. My contemplation of becoming a nurse or athletic trainer were REALLY short lived. I can NOT handle seeing someone in pain because I think of how bad it must hurt and OMG DON'T WALK OUT OF THE KITCHEN, YOU'RE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE.

I ran into the bathroom to get some gauze and bandaids and tape stuff and pretty much threw it all across the kitchen to him so I didn't have to get close and could watch from behind my fingers while curled up in the fetal position on the couch.

He was standing over the sink, just holding his hand in the air, looking at it. Blood was running all over the damn place.

Me: Seriously? Maybe put a little pressure on it so your blood geyser can perhaps not stain everything in my kitchen?

LeGreg: Oh yeah! I forgot about that 'put pressure on it' thing.

Me: ...............

Anyway, after he spend some time chasing me around my apartment, trying to show me his open gaping wounds, and me running around screaming and dry heaving, we came to the conclusion that he would be fine. No stitches required or anything.

Now I'm down to 2 out of 4 wine glasses.

Homeboy best get to shopping.

This last weekend we were in Fresno, visiting some friends. While I was having lunch with one of my friends, he was out shopping with our other friends.

While at lunch, I got a "I have a surprise for you :) " text.

Surprises? I'm a fan.

I walked in the door to find two new wine glasses, a boyfriend baking lemon bars, and Jameson and ginger beer drinks ready for guzzling.

Heaven.

Ah foundz it.

Picture of the Day

2012-01-30T09:07:00.001-08:00

A little perspective for this Monday!

Also, not my pic. Not sure whose it is to actually credit it to, either.

Picture of the Day

2012-01-25T21:07:00.000-08:00

Picture of the Day

2012-01-24T10:59:00.000-08:00

I tried to be fancy this weekend and try a martini.

Turns out, when you don't like olives, you don't like drinks that have olives and olive juice in them.

Whodathunk.

Apparently I'm really good at pouring my drinks into someone else's glass, though, and making them think that they're slacking and have to chug the rest of theirs.

Maybe I'll keep mine to myself if I try it "with a twist" instead, next time.

PS-Olives look like buttholes. Sorry. Someone had to say it.

Candlestick or bust

2012-01-23T10:55:00.000-08:00

After their first playoff win, LeGreg was talking about getting tickets to the next 49ers game. I didn't think he would, mostly because they cost eleventy million dollar. Without so much as a word from him, I got an email "confirming" purchase of two tickets to the game. End zone, 9th row. Is this fool FOR REAL?

There was actually jumping and squealing happening in my cube at work.

I obviously had to vamp up my Niners gear and Nic and I immediately went on a red and gold shopping spree after work.

We spent the weekend with friends in a cabin in the woods (that post to follow, as soon as I get those pics ready). I knew that LeGreg wanted to get an early start on Sunday am for the game, but he got major side eye when he said he wanted to be on the road at 5am.

Homie, I am on BAHCAYSHUN!

He finally said, "fine, we don't have to wake up THAT early" and set his alarm. I asked what time he set it for and he said 5am. Oh hey thanks for the extra 10 mins of sleep, babe.

I said eff it and went along with it because, as we all know, my ass was for sure sleeping the whole way there.

I will pass out like a drunk sailor on a 5 min drive home but, natch, I couldnt fall asleep.

I don't know if it had something to do with my phone spazzing after a cell tower went out and then back up again up in the mountains, or if the outlet I had my phone charging on all night was janky, but my phone battery was 99% dead first thing in the morning and 100% dead before we even got to the game.

That whole cell tower thing made it difficult for LeGreg to look up what time the parking lots opened for tailgating. When we got there at around 8:30am, it was a ghost town. Us and about 5 other cars. Word on the street was that it wouldnt open up until 10:30.

It was windy and raining and I had no connection to the outside world. Sigh.

As we sat, more and more cars started to pile up and wander around. When we finally caught a glimpse of an open gate, we hopped in line and were about the 10th car to get in the parking lot. Getting there 93 hours early will not get you a well rested look (not that it mattered, since everyone looked like bundled up hobos), but it WILL get you a killer parking spot with plenty of room to tailgate and located right in front of the exit.

The first hour or so, I pretty much posted up shop in car. It was raining HARD and we had 5 hours to waste. My goal was to stay as dry as possible for as long as possible. LeGreg wasn't scurred, and was all up in the rain, bbq-ing breakfast sausages and chatting with the neighbors. At least I finally convinced him to fork over $10 for a poncho, as we were destined to be in the rain all day and he was wearing a puffy silky jacket from 1981.

After a nap and listening to some of the Patriots/Ravens game and eating a bunch of stuff and drinking a bunch of stuff and putting on 17 layers of clothes, it was finally time to head in.

Since LeGreg bought his tickets off one of those re-selling tickets websites, it was definitely a relief to get in the stadium and not have them be counterfeits. You never know. Some people are assholes.

We also confirmed that our seats were AWESOME. End zone doesnt have the best view, but when the plays were on our end of the field, it was great. We never sat down and screamed through the entire game.

It rained pretty much for the entire game, but no one seemed to care much. The crowd was pumped, the officiating was questionable, the 49ers kick returner biffed.

After the Niners biffed for the final time and lost the game, we slugged home with the rest of the defeated crowd. LAME. Thank God for our parking spot, though, because we were out of there in no time.

Who knows when that opportunity will ever come again, so I was pretty stoked that I was able to be a part of it with that guy that I kinda like.

12 hours was a long time to spend at Candlestick, though.

That's all I'm sayin.

City Slickers

2012-01-19T09:53:00.000-08:00

Over Christmas, my aunt kept talk about this girls horse round-up trip that she was going on. She was trying to convince my sister and I to go, and maybe even my mom. Tales of previous trips of hers, her saddle bags full of beer in place of food and clothes...

I've been riding exactly once in the last...oh...decade. While I don't think (...?) I embarrassed myself, rusty would probably be an understatement. Pretty sure that spending even ONE day on a horse, let alone 4 days, would render me immobile and barren.

PLUS, this place is making you PAY to work for them! Which is total crap. And genius.

But then I thought about it.

And listened when my dad said, "You're going, RIGHT?! You CAN'T pass this up".

Ok, I'd consider it.

But ONLY if my grandpa's lady friend would let me ride at her ranch up until the trip, so I can maybe get a little bit of my groove back and not have my ass actually fall off.

She said of course. She'd be glad to help.

Welp, looks like I'm in. And probably my sister, too.

I'm pretty stoked about riding again, I'm not gonna lie. It was something that I absolutely loved growing up. Having the opportunity to ride with my grandpa again will also be pretty awesome.

But if he get's thrown again and busts his ribs and rips open his elbow, like he did a few months ago, I'll probably barf and pass out while continuing to barf. Don't ride the blind, deaf, scared to death horse that flipped out when you got it because it couldnt see you again, FRATA. God. (side story-I saw him the next day and he could barely move and he got all pissed that I "ratted him out" when I told my mom. Men...)

Naturally, I ran directly to Boot Barn and got myself a shiny new pair of kicks, picked with the direction of my aunt. New adventures = all the new things.

This has the potential to be a totally shit show.

Can't wait.

Picture of the Day

2012-01-18T09:59:00.001-08:00

Snickers has jokes.

15 Years

2012-01-17T13:04:00.000-08:00

On January 17, 1997, a drunk driver killed a classmate of mine, who I grew up with, his dad, and one of his sisters.

He was the class clown. One of those popular kids who was actually nice. A rarity.

The following Monday, I showed up to our shared freshman geometry class, put a rose on the seat of his empty desk, and cried my way through a math final.

I had a hard time dealing with it. I cried myself to sleep every night for a while, thinking about the utter despair and loss the remaining members in his family were feeling. I just couldn't, and can't, even imagine going through that.

Their family had 4 kids. So does mine. My whole family surrounds me, while half of theirs is gone. The reality of that hit home. Hard.

I didn't cry for my loss, I cried for theirs.

It's been 15 years since they died, but I think about them all the time.

Such an avoidable situation.

If you're the designated driver, be a responsible one. If you aren't the DD, get a responsible one.

My family and I would appreciate it.

Picture of the Day

2012-01-11T19:00:00.000-08:00

My Uncle's son brought the gift of hooch to Christmas. Everclear, red hots, and apple cider. Better, it does not get.

o__O

2012-01-09T10:45:00.000-08:00

I got to LeGreg's at around 10:30 Friday night. After saying our hellos and tolerating Skybo's pogo stick jumping for 5 mins in my face because OMG HE HASN'T SEEN ME IN LIKE 3 DAYSSSSSSS WHERE HAVE I BEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!, this happened:

LeGreg: These don't really feel like my regular Under Armour spandex tights...

Me: (touch them) Well, they're cotton. So they aren't.

LeGreg: ...............I think they're your leggings.

Me: WHAT. Are you kidding me? (check the tag) GOD DAMNIT.

LeGreg: I didn't notice that they were different until now!

Me: HOW did you not notice that one pair is soft cotton and one is shiny stretchy spandex?!?!? TAKE THEM OFF BEFORE YOU STRETCH THEM OUT PLEASE OMG.

LeGreg: Well....I already went running in them.

Me:

Brand new leggings. No big deal.

Picture of the Day

2012-01-06T09:41:00.000-08:00

Friday was LeGreg's mom's birthday, and we were in charge of decorating. When Skybo first got in the car and realized he was sharing space with 100 balloons he got all pouty. Ears down, head down, "halp meeeee" in his eyes. Then he realized he was basically in the middle of a party and could sit in FRONT of them instead of UNDER them, and he piped up and went with it.

Inappropriate

2012-01-04T20:08:00.000-08:00

I'm alive, I SWEAR!

Just not in a super write-y mood lately, ya know?

Saturday morning, LeGreg and I met up with my grandpa for breakfast at his preferred time of early o'clock. We went to his usual place where everyone knows him and he knows all the waitress's names. After shoving waffles and eggs and various meats and gallons of coffee in our faces and hearing about how my grandpa was once again elected to president of his mobile home park against his will and he was pissed that they wouldn't print his "I want to put the power back into the people's hands" statement in the Leisureville newsletter and has been whistle blowing left and right on the shoddy management, Greg and I both tried to chip in on the bill. "No no no, I'll take care of it. Just don't bring him with you TOO often" he says, with a nod towards LeGreg. Sassy, that one.

When we got back to his house, he said he had a video to show us. There's always a 12 min military video or 9 page "HOW TO NOT FALL VICTIM TO JELLY BEAN BURGLARS" or "SECRET CELL PHONE CODES TO CALL DURING VARIOUS EMERGENCIES THAT ARE PROBABLY DEFINITELY SPAM OF SOME SORT".

So we settled in for the latest installment. I don't remember the fancy schmancy correct terminology, but this one was basically "What advantage does a helicopter have over a plane?". LeGreg read the title and said "Because they can take off and land straight up and down?". My grandpa said "something like that....just watch it".

So we scroll down the email all
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

(should have been the first hint)

And there's a picture of a woman getting into a helicopter with her skirt flying up over her head and her ass showing.

God damnit.

My grandpa was pretty pleased that he pulled one over on us and walked away cracking up.

Boys might grow older, but they don't grow up.

Picture of the Day

2012-01-01T10:41:00.000-08:00

The day after her birthday, my sister, dad, and I got coffee together. I got an apple brulee. The set a thin slice of apple on top of a apple spice drink, covered it in sugar, and torched it. It was cray.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T03:53:00.000-08:00

Holy Holidays

2011-12-28T11:49:00.000-08:00

Nic and Rob finally made it over for a Christmas Eve at my parents.
It's tradition that it include a crab dinner.
And wildly inappropriate games. This year's highlight was the inclusion of my mother's grooming habits in some of the drawings/writings.
My sister in law made cute Santa cookies. And turned some into boobs.
Lots of family. Which is always awesome.
A CROCKPOT!! Really excited about that gift.
My 4 yr old nephew flipping out over getting a snowglobe because IT WAS ALL HE EVER WANTED YOU GUYS!
More to come, because I'm headed out the door :)

Picture of the Day

2011-12-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

LeGreg and I were wandering around a nursery that's attached to the wine please we frequent, and a wildlife rescue was there selling things to help benefit them. They had these little guys on the table for $5. I've always thought that IF I collected anything, it would be owl or hippos. This purchase was a must. Obvs.

Picture of the Day

2011-12-22T09:51:00.000-08:00

This is how Skybo rides in the car. His head wedged between us, front paws on the floor, butt up in the air on the seat. Comfy, eh?

That one time I ate all the meats.

2011-12-20T10:17:00.000-08:00

Last night, LeGreg and I went to La Fondue in Saratoga, as my Christmas present to him.

I was pretty excited, because we were going to get to eat ALL of these things:

Not to mention our choice of cheese fondue first, and chocolate fondue after. Let the gorging begin!!!

Downtown Saratoga is...well...old money. Basically. I see it as really fancy, but like 70's really fancy. That's what I expected for this place. I expected a lot of dark colored velvet.

We walked in. Ok, first we walked right past the front door because it was a curtain and then another curtain and are we walking into the restaurant or into the backstage kitchen? We open the second curtain into the lobby and my jaw dropped. It was really dark, so I had a hard time taking pictures, but it was beautiful and weird and artsy and had gun lamps. Gun lamps.

I expected old snooty servers (...old money), but everyone was really young and super nice. The whole place was dark and made up of a bunch of small rooms. We were lead to back, to a room with weird religious decor. And antlers on the wall. So bizarre.

Our bottle of Downhill Pinot Noir was opened for us, which was perfect. I had been saving that bottle for something nice and this was definitely worthy.

We started off with a killer salad (how often can you say that?) with a sweet and sour dressing. Could have drank that dressing straight from the bottle.

As it was his Christmas gift, I left it to LeGreg to choose the fondues. For the cheese fondue, he chose the bacon, buttermilk, swiss and wine combo. Sweet jeebus. I was worried that they were going to dump a truckload of dipping things in front of us and I wasn't going to be able to stop myself from eating ALL of it and then being stuff before we even got the meat. They brought just the right amount, though. Bread, veggies, apples, grapes, potatoes (SO good. Cooked and chilled and so creamy. The only thing we asked for more of), and....other stuff, I'm sure. It was all so good.

Next up was the circus act. The meat course. Sorry, that pic is so weirdly colored! It was so dark in there that I had to tweak the colors all over the place to make the meat visible.

There were two bites of each meat, which was PLENTY. As suggested by our server, we opted for a grill instead of an actual fondue. There was such a huge variety of meat that any ONE fondue thing probably wouldn't compliment them all. The grill came with 6 dipping sauces, too.

A few notes:
Duck-tastes like chicken, but really good
Alligator-we slightly overcooked it and it tasted randomly like teriyaki.
Antelope-YUCK. Tasted really fishy.
Bison-just like beef
Venison-fishy again! blech.
Wild boar- aka pork
Kangaroo-really smokey and DELICIOUS
Kobe beef- oh..mah...gawd. So soft and good.

It was so interesting to try all of these things. I had our server come back about 4 times to remind me what everything was. I was damn near bursting at the seams by the end of this round.

But there was chocolate to be had, so there was still work to do. LeGreg chose the pecan, caramel, chocolate mix. The server brought this amazing tray with rice krispy treat balls, cookie dough, marshmallows, pound cake, fruit, cream puffs, and a bunch of other stuff. The server asked if we wanted to roast the marshmallows...uhh....YES PLEASE. She lit the freaking chocolate on FIRE and goes "that'll last for about a minute". Boom. Amazing.

After finishing dessert and a bottle of wine, we waddled out to our fancy driver, Nicole. But before we left, I had to grab a scoop from the Jelly Belly fountain at the entrance/exit. Jelly. Belly. FOUNTAIN. Ok, it was basically a bowl attached to the wall, but whatever.

It was the perfect end to an awesome evening.

A fun little follow up showing the results of my failed attempt to donate blood!

2011-12-19T12:42:00.000-08:00

This is only through today, so cant wait to see what the future holds for my beat up tie dyed arm!!

PS-there's no such thing as flattering elbow pictures.

....Thanks?

2011-12-16T18:01:00.000-08:00

Coworker: You look so pretty today, Summer!...What's different?

Me: ....

Donating blood to everything but the sick people who need it.

2011-12-12T10:56:00.000-08:00

A blood donation truck sets up shop every 8 weeks or so at work.

I'm usually a little gun shy. My veins' relationship with needles isn't exactly Laverne and Shirly-esque. It isn't usually anything serious, but my veins are sometimes jumpy and hard to find and they always bruise a lot and it's usually just difficult enough that it makes a little less than enthusiastic.

But this time they sent the email out and Nic was all "shall we?". Ok, fine. I'll drain my life juice to help sick people around Christmas time. FINE.

I haven't actually donated blood since high school, thanks to various tattoos and traveling and all that fun stuff.

We showed up to work this morning, totally forgetting that we were expected to let hospital vampires suck our blood in an hour. Oops. Luckily, I saw a flyer for it and was reminded and immediately chugged a bunch of water so my engine oil blood might actually cooperate.

We showed up and went through the whole screening process. Mine was somewhat uneventful, and I was ushered over to a nice lounge chair. Nic came out a few mins later, shaking her head. "India." Way to be all travelly and get yourself disqualified, NICOLE! It's like she hates sick people, or something.

It's probably a good thing that she went back to work and didn't hang out to be moral support for me.

So the chick working on me does the whole "squeeze now" "needle pinch now" blah blah blah thing. She has it set up, and it isn't too bad. But she's, like, staring at it. And some other chick comes over and starts staring at it.

Me: Are my veins misbehaving? (nervous laugh)
Chick: Well....it's just going really slow. REALLY slow.
Me: uhh...ok.

They gave me some water, but it didn't do anything. She decided to try to adjust the needle a little. Might as well shove a flaming match into my vein. OW.

And no luck.

Chick: This is just going too slow, and I don't think it's going to work. I think maybe your veins clotted too fast. We can either call it a day or try the other side...

Mini-Me on my left shoulder: HELL NO. You take your free movie ticket and cookie and GET OUT RIGHT NOW OMG OW.

Mini-Me on my right shoulder: Ok, you ARE here to actually donate blood to HELP people, so suck it up and turn the other cheek/arm.

Ugh.

Fine.

Nice me won.

I changed tables so that she could start up on my right arm, after getting my left arm all bandaged up. As soon as she put the needle in on the right side, she shook her head. She messed with it a tiny bit, then said "Same thing, this just isn't working. I'm sorry, I'm just gonna take it out". LAME. So she took the needle out and had me hold a few swabs of gauze on it. I looked at my coworker next to me and shrugged, joking about it. I looked down and umm....WE HAVE A BLEEDER.

So my blood refused to go into that effing needle, but it did NOT have any trouble soaking the gauze, smeared all over my arm, and dripping all over the place. LITTLE HELP, PLEASE!!

In a situation like that, my own blood doesn't really freak me out, so I was laughing about it. My coworker was not. I laughed about that, too, because I'm an asshole.

I joked about my veins being shy, and the nurse chick said that I have "big, juicy, overzealous" veins. How that translates into "but I can't get any blood out of them", I have no idea.

Once they got the bleeding to finally stop, I was wrapped up with an ice bag and told that "you might bruise a little". Ya think?

I still ate the ice cream and cookies, though.

Picture of the Day

2011-12-07T14:46:00.000-08:00

That's one cute dog.

Hot Yoga is Hot

2011-12-07T08:39:00.000-08:00

Hot yoga class #1-wtf is this shit I'm dying omg.

Hot yoga class #2- ok, less dying, only almost passed out twice! This isn't SO bad.

Last night was class #3.

After class #1, I had a theory. How much of the sweat dripping off my chin and elbows is actually sweat, and how much of it is precipitation from being in a 104 degree humid room packed with other sweating people? The body can't POSSIBLY produce THAT much sweat without shriveling up and dying. Amirite?

I remembered my ice water AND both of my towels. A big one to sweat on, a small one to uselessly wipe the constantly pouring sweat off my face so maybe I can open my eyes all the way at some point instead of squinting through the salty burn.

I grabbed my stinky floor spot, confident that, after class #2's relative success, this was going to be great and I was going to rock it.

There's always the same guy, from the class before, that practices 900 handstands after his class ends and mine begins. Every time he falls out of it or hits the wall too hard going up into it, he loudly mutters "DUMMY" or "SHIT". I'm not even that into yoga, and I know that the point of it is to practice practice practice, accept failure, make adjustments, and get right back into it again. YER DOIN IT WRONG.

Then some chick set up shop in front of me. She had perfectly straightened hair, full face of makeup and pants on. I would literally die if I wore pants to hot yoga. No joke. Dead.

Each class is started with some annoyingly long breathing exercises (I have my masters in exercise physiology and I still can't spell exercise right half the time. Awesome.). By the end of them, I have sweat pouring out of every square inch of skin. Just raining down all limbs. It's gross.

I glance at her and this bitch barely has a SHEEN of sweat...YOUR BODY'S HEAT REGULATION SYSTEM IS BROKEN WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!

I continue through the 90 min class with a constant stream of sweat flinging off my elbows and knees and this bitch has like 3 sweat droplets on her chest. I hate her. I mostly hate her for ruining my "oh no, I'm not a disgusting sweaty mess, it's mostly just condensation, you guys!" theory. Nope. I'm gross. Most of the rest of the class is usually a hot sweaty mess with me, but STILL.

The point of yoga is also to not compare yourself to those around you and to focus on YOUR practice. I should hang out with handstand guy.

So, through this class, I'm dying. Is it actually hotter in here than normal, or did I just forget how hellish that room gets? I sat down like 36 times to keep from passing out and cursed myself for putting TOO much ice in my water, willing it to MELT ALREADY GOD. No one else seemed to be having such a hard time, so why is MY skull baking and legs shaking so damn bad!! Ugh.

After class, I jammed into the bathroom to peel off my dripping clothes and was SO relieved to overhear a conversation about how hard/hot that class was. At least a little justified....

After every class, so far, I can do nothing but flop on the couch and stare at the wall for an hour after I get home. No energy to eat. No energy to shower. No energy to pay attention to Glee. How the hell do people do this every day? Or twice a day?

Monsters.

Pretty sure I'm still not sold on this yet.

Picture of the Day

2011-12-06T20:45:00.000-08:00

Saturday night was shenanigans. In a gorgeous setting.

Of wine and monsters

2011-12-05T14:52:00.000-08:00

Due to a cluster-eff of events, our plans for Friday and Saturday got all tumbled and fumbled around. We weren't going to the event that I left work early for on Friday because we were going to event that I didn't even know existed, thanks to my inability to write my email address or ANYTHING ELSE legibly, on Saturday night.

Biff on the Friday night plans meant that we got to go to our rad pizza-serving winery, though. Always awesome, despite being so gd far away.

I got to his house just as the sun was setting and it was 68 degrees. The weather said it was supposed to be 33 that night, so I was pretty surprised and hopeful that I wouldn't freeze my earlobes off during the course of the weekend.

An hour later, when we got to the winery, it was 41 degrees. Jeezus crimony. Thank god we were able to sit at a table directly under a heat lamp.

After shoving 183 pieces of handmade wood-fired pizza in our faces, we ran through the cold as eff yard to get to my car and jumped in.

Just as LeGreg fired up the engine and turned on the lights, we both saw a shadow cross directly in front of the car.

This place is in the middle of NOWHERE. No. Where. Middle of a mountain. Sasquatch-ville.

Me: OMG DID YOU SEE THAT?!

LeGreg: Wtf was that.

A few seconds later a HUGE animal crossed into the light of the headlights.

LeGreg: OMG IT'S A WOLF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Wow. Ok, no. It's a DOG, dear.

LeGreg: OMG IT'S KUJO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: ha....ha....can we go now, PLEASE.

Right as we start to back up, the monster dog stops pissing on the tree in front of us and romps over to my window.

Me: IT'S LOOKING AT ME! GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Then it jumped up on the side of my car, staring at me, plotting my death. I screamed. I looked at LeGreg. I screamed. I looked back to see it still staring into my soul. I screamed some more.

It finally jumped down, but it walked behind the back of the car. Hard to back up with a monster on your tail. It came around to LeGreg's side and jumped on HIS window.

More screaming.

FINALLY it jumped down and we floored it down the driveway. The demon dog chased us the whole way.

Pretty sure death was brushed. And defeated.

2011-12-03T09:21:00.001-08:00

Picture of the Day

2011-12-03T05:53:00.000-08:00

Frata's saddle, part 5

Picture of the Day

2011-12-02T05:50:00.000-08:00

Frata's saddle, part 4

Omg this.

2011-12-01T07:39:00.001-08:00

Picture of the Day

2011-12-01T04:14:00.000-08:00

Frata's saddle pt. 3

Picture of the Day

2011-11-30T04:12:00.000-08:00

Frata's saddle pt. 2

Bikram Yoga

2011-11-29T21:47:00.000-08:00

Over a year ago I bought a Groupon for 30 days of Bikram (hot) yoga. It ended in Nov of last year and I didn't activate it before it's expiration date. Oops. Cut my losses and moved on.

About two weeks ago, I got a reminder from Groupon that this one was going to expire soon, on Nov 30, 2011. I was off by an entire YEAR. Oops.

Today was my first class.

I was a little freaked out, like I am with pretty much any new experience. I changed my clothes 5 times before leaving the house and was still less than confident in my cotton t-shirt and cotton knee length shorts. I was torn between being more comfortable in less clothing and having sweat pouring down my limbs and face.

I pulled up super early to make sure I would get in for the 6:30 class. You can kind of see inside the studio from the outside, and the first thing I noticed was the dripping sweat all over the windows. GROSS. That just looks smelly.

I went into the lobby and it was about 90 degrees in there. Ick. I signed in and took a seat and waited until the sweaty mess of a previous class finally came out. While waiting, I noticed the pictures of Mr. Bikram himself all over the place. Including one signed 8x10 of him with his hair slicked back and giant stunner shade sunglasses. Who does this guy think he is? JTT? Seems decidedly un-yoga like to me.

I went in and snagged a wall spot and waited some more. I immediately noticed that it was 1) OMG HOT, and 2) mildew smelly. How the hell do they air that place out?! Sick.

Class finally started.

The instructor was what appeared to be Russian. I could understand approximately 10% of what was coming out of her mouth, so I was forced to be the creepy new girl staring at everyone around me trying to figure out what to do.

About 2 mins into the class, we leaned forward over our legs, and I caught a glimpse of my shins. SOAKING wet. Uh EW. It was so hot in there that the sweat and my skin were about the same temperature, so I hadn't even really felt it.

About 10 mins later, my shirt and shorts were completely drenched. Even having experienced it, I STILL don't know what to wear. I feel like the clothes kept at least some of sweat from running all over the place, but crap almighty it was heavy and hot.

About 4 times I actually thought there was a chance I was going to pass out and considered leaving the room for a break. And then RUNNING FAR FAR AWAY. But I didn't. Although I would have beaten the bendy Princess Jasmine chick in front of me with my now empty water bottle to get just ONE breath of cool air. I swear I was chewing air, rather than just breathing. Ugh.

Towards the end of the 90 min class, I made the mistake of glancing in the mirror. Hair frizzed out to Saturn, beat red face and eyes (???), and...omg....what is that? Why is part of my white shirt pink? Oh, I sweat the color off of my NOT new sports bra? Oh that's cool.

WTF.

So gross.

The class was finally over and I bee-lined for the lobby. Bringing sweats, a long sleeve t-shirt, and Uggs to change into?

I MAKE HORRIBLE DECISIONS.

I stripped my shirt and shorts off and lunged for the door. There I am, in booty shorts, a sports bra, and uggs gulping the 50 degree air like I had just been drowning in heat for last the 90 mins. Because I had just been drowning in heat for the last 90 mins.

I put a towel down in my car, still soaking the seat belt with sweat (GROSSSSSS) and was freezing my ass off 5 mins later because, you know, I was wearing almost nothing and it was somewhat cold out and I was STILL sweaty and had to drive with the windows down because my car INSTANTLY steamed up the second I sat in it.

I can't tell if it's a "I don't like it because it's crowded and gross and I suck at it and how can it possibly be good for you to sweat THAT much" or a "I don't like it because I suck at it, so I need to put my head down, charge ahead, and keep doing it to get better at it" kind of SUCK.

29 more days left on this effing Groupon.

I will get my money's worth, damn it, even if it kills me or ruins ALL of my workout clothes.

Picture of the Day

2011-11-29T04:08:00.000-08:00

My grandpa has started riding again and had his saddle on the porch at Thanksgiving. They're just so....pretty. I miss riding.

The Shoes I'm Rocking Today

2011-11-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

New shoes! FINALLY!! I saw these at Old Navy a few weeks ago. They were regularly $45 and were on clearance for $28. They just didn't fit quite right, though, so I passed.

Last week, on Monday, Nic and I went there again and there they were again. I tried them on AGAIN aaaaand....THEY FIT!! But. I knew that on Weds, all clearance was going to be an additional 50% off. If it was meant to be, they would be there Weds.

Weds we went back. AND THEY WERE THERE!! Sweet sweet fate. I got this pair and a grey pair, for $14/ea.

Picture of the Day

2011-11-28T08:02:00.000-08:00

It wasn't even part of a crazy black friday deal. Just regular old clearance rack. $4 for these 3 bracelets at Target.

Thankful

2011-11-24T12:07:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful for running 10k at the Silicon Valley Turkey Trot with these crazies this morning.

I'm thankful for La Vic being open so we could shove breakfast burritos in our faces after the race.

I'm thankful for my stellar friends.

And my kickass family.

Hope you and your have a great one!

Picture of the Day

2011-11-23T05:53:00.000-08:00

Picture of the Day

2011-11-22T09:55:00.001-08:00

My vending machine purchases don't exactly help my "just because I'm one of the youngest employees here doesn't mean I'm a child" argument.

Picture of the Dayp

2011-11-21T06:05:00.000-08:00

Picture of the Day

2011-11-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

Picture of the Day

2011-11-19T09:11:00.000-08:00

Of Saturday Things

2011-11-18T10:40:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday was a lot of awesome.

I tried to write a post, but it ended up getting a bit long and drawn out, so I abandoned ship (what does it say about me that I automatically wrote "shit", when I meant to type ship?).

But I keep thinking about it's awesomeness and how it deserves a post.

And so...

It was the day before we were to go to the 49ers game, and LeGreg was ALL ABOUT driving to every single dingle store in the area to scope out the BEST tailgating food around. After going to several high end local places, we ended up buying the cheapest hot dogs and snacks at the Grocery Outlet. And it was a great choice.
While we were driving around, I begged him to pull over so I could take some pics of the beautiful fall colors (see previous 87 and future 94 "picture of the day"s).
We wandered around and ended up walking through the farmer's market, which was packing up. We both decided that we hadn't been to our favorite pizza place in way too long.
Amazing pizza and raspberry porter were had for lunch. And it was good.
We met up with his aunt and uncle and headed towards the new location of our favorite wine tasting room. The new place is gorgeous, way close to his house, and like walking into Cheers.
I was chastised for not having been yet by the wine-makers. I kindly reminded them that they only opened two weeks ago, and I DON'T EVEN LIVE THERE!
The fun thing about being buddy buddy with the wine-makers is that they pour GIANT "tastes" and whisper "just let me know if you want more" when the other patrons aren't looking.
A lot of wine was had and purchased and I accidentally finally joined their wine club. Which I've probably already paid for in tasting fees.
The we went to dinner at a nice Mexican place to celebrate his uncle being promoted to police sergeant. More awesome.
Wine tasting (knowing that I wasn't driving) + margaritas = happy me. Then I found out we were wine tasting more. Ooooook count me in.
They took us to some place that I would drive right past, thinking it was a liquor store. Probably because half of it is a liquor store. The other half is some fancy schmancy wine tasting bar (meh, I'll take my way cheaper place in Loomis thankyouverymuch).
But it was still fun and the girlfriend of one of LeGreg's friends walked in at one point. Apparently she's a waitress at an Italian place next store that you can order food from in the wine bar. RANDOM. But awesome.
We drank too much and stayed up too late and had too much fun.

End scene.

Picture of the Day

2011-11-18T04:42:00.000-08:00

Picture of the Day

2011-11-17T04:45:00.000-08:00

I went outside in LeGreg's back yard to wander and take pics. I headed toward a pomegranate tree with its branches weighed down to the ground with fruit. I saw this cracked pomegranate and couldn't resist opening it up and taking a bite. I stood there, looking out over his property, reminiscing about when we used to pick fruit from my grandparents pomegranate orchard when I was growing up. A few minutes later my face, mouth and hands were all stained red and sticky. Worth the mess.

Picture of the Day

2011-11-16T05:12:00.000-08:00

Dental Darlin'

2011-11-15T21:03:00.000-08:00

I had a dentist appointment yesterday.

Yesterday morning, I was all "psh. No biggie. I had xrays last time, and they usually don't find anything unless they take xrays so this should just be a cleaning easy peasy lemon squeezey".

But then I remembered that at my last appointment they told me one of my pockets was too deep and I was pissed that they didn't tell me the time BEFORE that it was close to that so that I could have prevented it. That meant I'd had two cleanings. So I was due for xrays. And scrutiny.

Eff.

I went in and had some lady with an almost silent high pitched whisper of a voice put her hands all up in my face. The cleaning part doesn't usually really bother me much. First things first, my misbehaving pocket is back in normal range. Hell yes. Last time, when they told me i needed to "work at keeping it clean", I was all "psh, challenged ACCEPTED, bitches". I won that war.

But then she told me that, apparently, you aren't supposed to scrub your teeth with a clenched fist and brillo pad toothbrush like your mouth is contaminated because it's bad for your gums? Huh....Damn it.

She gave me a "prescription strength" soft toothbrush, which feels like it's made out of fairy hair and my teeth are being licked by kittens when I use it.

And then.

Time for the dentist to come in and tell me that I had irreparable damage and needed fillings in every one of my teeth.

But he didn't.

He poked around. Said everything looked good. And said he'd see me in 6 months. Awhat? Clean bill? For the first time since I started going there?! YEEEEEEAH BUDDY!!!

To top it off, LeGreg surprised me by not going home yesterday morning and having dinner ready for me when I got home.

There's a lot of winning happening in those last few sentences, folks.

Picture of the Day

2011-11-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

Picture of the Day

2011-11-14T19:10:00.000-08:00

A for real POST, you guys!!!

2011-11-14T10:55:00.000-08:00

Last week, LeGreg said "Hey BTW, you get your Christmas present this weekend!!! It's a surprise".

Love that guy more than anything, but he's terrible at surprises.

Me: YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!! What is it.
LeGreg: A surprise.
Me: Is it a thing, or are we doing something?
LeGreg: Maybe.
Me: Helpful.
LeGreg: Dress warm.
Me: Because it's cold at your house? Neither of us care for snow, so it's not that...hmmm....
(a little later)
Me: Your aunt and uncle want to hang out on Saturday. Is my present going to take all day? Part of the day?
LeGreg: Our thing is on Sunday, so any time is fine. I know we'll miss football, but it's just for one week.

SUNDAY?!?! Sunday during football season?! WTF. He won't even go to the grocery store during Sunday football, let alone miss the whole day. This must be good.

LeGreg: And...uh....wear your 49ers shirt. We might stop and watch the game somewhere.
(this is where they "terrible at surprises" thing kicks in.
Me: We're totally going to the 49ers game. ARE WE GOING TO THE 49ERS GAME?!?!?
LeGreg:....yes.

And our seats? About 20 rows up. LOWER LEVEL, PEOPLE. Holy balls. To top it off? My friends little brother plays for the opposing team! Beyond excited.

We still had to spend the weekend at LeGregs, because he was watching his parents dog. I was a little worried about the whole "drive 2 hrs to the game, drive 2 hrs back from the game, drive 2.5 hrs home" thing. Ick. LeGreg offered for us to drive to my house from his, THEN to the game, so we could spend the night at my house last night. Rock.

We left his house at dark o'clock in the morning, because LeGreg wanted to make sure we could tailgate for 14 hours. I tried to remind him that tailgating is just sitting/standing there, and would probably be boring for more than 2 hours. He didn't care. He bought a little propane bbq and all the fixins for a hoppin good tailgate time.

After arriving and paying $30 (!!!!!!!!!!!!ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!) for parking, we set up camp. Things that made it: hot dogs, artichoke parmesean dip, beans, m&ms, beer. Things that didn't make it: buns, chips, utensils. Made for an interesting meal, but we made it work.

I asked a group of Giants fans across the way if they had driven all the way from Texas, as their license plate would suggest. Omg. Three of them swarmed me, all talking at the same time all "No, we flew! It's a rental car! We're from Jersey! We have season tickets! You were just in Jersey? NO WAY! It IS pretty, huh? Gets a bad rap, huh? You want a bloody mary? Let me make you a bloody mary!". Super nice guys, and SUPER chatty.

While we were slugging around out there, I checked Facebook on my phone, and found that my favorite cupcake place ever had it's truck at the game!! The hunt was ON. When it was time to head in, my cupcake radar went to work, and I tracked them down. Like this day could get any better.

Then we found our seats. They were amazing and right behind my friends brother. We spent the first quarter in the second row, until they were claimed by their rightful owners. Our seats were still amazing, though. The game was really exciting and I about blew my voice out from all the screaming and yelling. It was awesome.

The stadium has gotten a pretty bad reputation for out of control fans and violence lately, but we saw security kicking asses and taking names. We had one guy right next to us screaming obscenities, despite the kids directly in front of him. Their mom didn't seem to care (...nice), but some other guy by us asked him to clean it up. Naturally, the guy went ballistic. Security gave him exactly one warning before kicking him out. We saw them kick out a number of people, which I'm all for. I'm all about having a good time, but space is WAY too confined during a packed game to be getting out of control.

We post-game tailgated, too, waiting for the traffic to clear a bit, eating bbq beans with a fork and chatting it up with our Jersey bros across the way. "Man, we didn't find the cupcakes OR win!".

With basically ONE exit, it took about 2 hours before we were on our way home. Crazy.

Bottom line is this: LeGreg rocks. Tha end.

Cute overload

2011-11-11T19:15:00.001-08:00

Picture of the Day

2011-11-11T12:30:00.001-08:00

BACON!!

2011-11-09T18:40:00.000-08:00

I follow random food trucks on Twitter. I have no idea where I even find out about them. Probably The Food Network and Nicole or something. Some of them, like Bacon Bacon, are pretty much only in SF, so it's a little masochistic to follow them when I know I'm never driving my ass up to SF to actually eat there.

Then Bacon Bacon posted that they would be near my work. On a Monday. At lunchtime.

BBBBAAAAACCCCCOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nicole and I tried to fast (fail. Breakfast Monday at work. ), and then hauled ass out of there at lunchtime to track down the pig.

The line was long. The excitement was high.

Our menu, from the top right:
-The LGBT: Little gem lettuce, goat cheese, bacon, tomato (we added bacon jam. BACON JAM)
-The Belly: Pork belly, organic fried egg, arugula, caper aioli
-The Fries: Fresh herbs, parmesan
-Bacon Caramel Corn: Sea salt, caramel, bacon

Bacon. ALL THE BACON. It was epic.

Maybe it's for the best (for my ass) that this truck stay up in SF.

Picture of the Day

2011-11-06T17:10:00.000-08:00

I counted 17 turkeys in the yard this afternoon.

Picture of the Day

2011-11-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

The toll to cross this bridge was $13. That's insane.

Picture of the Day

2011-11-01T18:08:00.000-07:00

Pros of traveling to New Jersey for work: dinner at fancy Italian restaurants with fancy wine bottle chandeliers on the Boardwalk at the Jersey shore, paid for by our supplier.

Cons: being THISCLOSE to family and friends and not being able to see them. Huge con.

Warrior Dash 2011

2011-10-31T20:30:00.000-07:00

In the middle of nowhere, at Casa De Fruita in Hollister, a little event called Warrior Dash took place this weekend.

A few weeks ago, Nicole sent out a mass email. "We're doing this. Get your ass signed up". Running (5k/3mi)? Obstacles? Mud? I'm in.

The crew consisted of me, LeGreg, our friends Katie and John, Nic, Rob, and Nic's mom, stepdad and sister. Good crowd. Another couple that we're friends with came to support.

We gathered at my place to hand out our ridiculous details. Mustaches, headbands that Nic and I found on CLEARANCE in the $1 section at Target for $.30/ea, and wrist bands. Let's do this.

We dropped Skybo off at my parents house and got on the road.

We arrived, parked, picked up our shirts and warrior helmets, and grabbed a spot in the next group to be sent though the race.

The first mile or so was just running. Running on lumpy, uneven dirt. Nothing like inhaling dirt air and almost twisting your ankle a few times to keep your attention.

Obstacle 1: walk up a plank, across a flat plant, and down another plank. The plant wasn't super narrow, so it wasn't too difficult.

Obstacle 2: Rock climbing. Again, not too bad.

Obstacle 3: "Tipsy tightrope". Walk across one rope, while holding on to another overhead. When too many people were on the rope at once, your feet dunked in some water. It was all fun and games until the guy in front of my jumped off the rope and almost sent me flying.

Obstacle 4: "A cold water pit that you must climb out of while being blasted with rushing water". By "rushing water", they meant a pipe with some holes in it. Not exactly BLASTED. But the water felt pretty good.

Obstacle 5: climb over a wall (4ft-ish?), climb under a fence thing (2ft-ish). Repeat about 7 times. You basically had to hit the deck to get under the fence. First time getting really dirty....and tired. EFFORT!

Obstacle 6: climb over flat, but loose cargo nets. Basically, crawling forward with your head down lower than your ass on shaky nets.

Obstacle 7: "Giant cliffhanger". Big pyramid. One side is smooth, with ropes hanging down that you have to climb up. Other side is like a giant ladder. The 3 feet between rungs looked a wee bit scary, should you have a mis-step.

Obstacle 8: "Road rage". Climbing over wrecked cars. This was pretty rad. Except when I had to step down onto a dashboard and thought my foot was going to go through.

Obstacle 9: Moar cargo nets!! Climbing up them, this time.

Obstacle 10: "Great Warrior Wall" A super tall wall, with a 2x4 "step" every 3 or so feet. Use a rope to climb up. Other side was another ladder type deal, with the rungs super far apart again.

Obstacle 11: Jump over two strips of FIRE! Breathing around the first was harder than the actual jumping over it part.

Obstacle 12: MUD PIT!! crawl/swing through a pretty deep mud pit, under barbed wire. There was no way to NOT be completely submerged. It was awesome. Except for that dick in front of me who kept kicking his feet and splashing mud everywhere.

After the finish line, there was a crowd of muddy bodies standing under a water shower from a fire truck.

It was a filthy dirty blast. We made our way back to the car, where we ate, drank, listened to the 49ers game, and chatted with fellow warriors.

Finished off with a little Sonic tots and pumpkin pie milkshake? Why, yes. Please and thank you.

It's so on next year.

Pssst.....

2011-10-29T19:16:00.000-07:00

Dont forget to check out my cooking blog every once in a while.

Picture of the Day

2011-10-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

Skybo sits, at attention, keeping an eye on the crows and squirrels in the trees outside. All morning.

Picture of the Day

2011-10-28T10:51:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I love my coworkers.

Crayon Pumpkins

2011-10-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

Nicole LOVES to craft. She makes cute things, has loads of ribbon, bubbly handwriting.

My inability to draw a straight line or pay attention to anything for more than 30 secs means that I'm no good at crafting and can't I just drink wine and watch?

Nicole sent me this link, however, and I was all "OMG I CAN TOTALLY MAYBE DO THAT!!!!".

And so we did.

I had 4 pumpkins and Nic brought candles and a dead lighter. Note: this would be WAY easier with one of those long clicker lighter things. The tea light candles were a wee bit inefficient.

The final product, though, came out pretty rad. We've only actually decorated 2 of the pumpkins.

I'm thinking Chargers colors for my next one.

WTF, Holidays?

2011-10-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

Tis the season for bullshit holiday catalogs.

Dude I bought like ONE bra from Victoria's Secret last year, WHY am I getting witch craft and children's toys catalogs?!?

But today.

Today was just...no.

Title: Catalog Favorites. Are you SURE about that??

1. "What Happens with the Sisters Stays with the Sisters" shirt. THE sisters? Is this for nuns? Are nuns allowed to wear stupid quirky shirts? I talked to God about it and he said no. No one is allowed.

2. "Seed of Faith" pendant. You know the mustard that grows all over the side of the road and gets peed on by dogs and bikers and is covered in exhaust? No not THAT mustard! The special MAGICAL mustard that symbolizes that "anything is possible"! I call bullshit. I don't want your seed on me. Gross.

3. NO NO NO FUCKING WAY NO. In no corner of earth is a PIG FACE T-SHIRT a best-seller. NO WAY. This isn't ok. I just can't.

4. "It is what it is" bracelet. Possibly the worst motivational saying? Ever? Yes. And, therefore, NO.

The other 3 items MAYBE could pass as normal. Best-seller or favorite might be pushing it, but I shouldn't fly into a violent rage if I ever saw them, unlike the other items.

The inside wasn't any better.

There are sequined hats.

ON FIVE DIFFERENT PAGES.

Kill me now.

A night out with the boys

2011-10-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

One of LeGreg's best friends was in town for the weekend, so there was lots of planning around that.

Saturday night, I was the lucky lone female in a group of 6 guys, only 2 of whom I had met before.

Some highlights:

In the parking lot of the first bar, two of them passing a bottle of Patron back and forth, shot after shot. Half the bottle was gone in about 10 mins.
A giant sheathed knife was, of course, brought to the cut the limes. One intoxicated hand held the lime cupped in it's palm. The other intoxicated hand sawed away at it, knife blade facing the lime holding hand. I couldn't watched and braced for a scream when someone would surely slice through a hand. Somehow didn't happen.
"My goal tonight is to get shit faced, get in a fight, and break the bar down to the ground".
The karaoke bar, to be specific.
Interestingly enough, not a lot of people will bite the bait and fight him and his 300 lb partner in crime (neither of which is LeGreg).
Fastest way to win over boyfriends friends? Burping ability. "I like her, LeGreg, DON'T MESS THIS UP". Approval! Yes!
The constant hitting each other in the nads is immature and inexplicably hilarious. Every time.
In the end, everyone survived. I think. We left a little bit before everyone else but, as far as I know, there were no casualties.

Picture of the Day

2011-10-25T04:36:00.000-07:00

LeGreg and I went go grab a snack on Saturday, and topped it off with a chocolate stout beer float. Uhh....yes.

Picture of the Day

2011-10-24T16:11:00.000-07:00

I threw a handful of 2 yr old random seed mix in a pot. Of allllll the seeds, I got one sprout. When I left for the weekend, just the tips of the yellow were showing, and I thought it was a plain yellow marigold....BORING. I came home from the weekend to find this guy out in full bloom. I didn't even adjust the color in this pic! I GREW THAT FROM A SEED. And my geranium is totally kicking ass and covered in blooms, too! Look, Ma, no dead plants!

I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying!

2011-10-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

"Clyde, an 11-year-old kitteh, had been missing for almost two weeks. A kind stranger found Clyde and returned him home. Clyde’s reunion with 10-year-old Jared is shown above."

Soooo....this happened

2011-10-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

Born To Run

2011-10-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

This is the Clif Notes version of the book I'm reading, Born To Run. I may or may not be totally and completely obsessed with it right now. The book is SO interesting. I think my brother told me about it a long time ago, and I saw it for super cheap at a bookstore and decided to pick it up. As a rookie runner, it's fascinating.

Picture of the Day

2011-10-20T14:11:00.001-07:00

That face!! And fuzzy ears :)

Picture of the Day

2011-10-19T11:45:00.000-07:00

Catching up on work from taking a week off is going really well.

Swear.

Wedsnesday Funny

2011-10-19T10:01:00.001-07:00

Picture of the Day

2011-10-18T01:20:00.000-07:00

Sleepy boy

Clever Title!!

2011-10-17T19:24:00.000-07:00

We had a little gathering at my parents house on Saturday, as I mentioned in the pup pic posts.

We spent just about the whole afternoon outside, playing with the dogs, drinking beer, hanging out. My dad showed me the most exciting thing in the yard. Up above one of the patio chairs was a slightly ragged spider web. Embarrassingly ragged, if you ask me. I mean, come on Spider, get your shit together.

What was impressive was the size of this heifer.

The body was the size of a jelly bean. Not jelly belly. Jelly bean. And it was orange. A giant orange spider.

So we're all sitting around, chatting about whatever.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see my mom walk towards my dad.

Who is sitting in one of the chairs.

The chair under the spider web.

When I realized what's happening, I screamed all dramatic in slo-mo " MOM! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

There was a split second between her eyes bulging in understanding and her screaming and jumping and batting at her face.

I was of no help, as I was dry heaving the fetal position on my chair, watching my mother about to be devoured by a carnivorous spider.

We saw it skimpering away on the ground a few seconds later, so it either miraculously didn't land on her face or fell or something.

The whole thing was vomit worthy.

Picture of the Day

2011-10-17T02:09:00.000-07:00

Skybo likes to bottle his emotions up. It's pretty difficult to tell if he's having a good time....

Searches that lead someone to my blog

2011-10-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

"A fucking fish touched me with dog jumping".

Search was done at BYU.

Someone's getting expelled and going to hell.

Picture of the Day

2011-10-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

My friend, Katie, and I FINALLY got to hang out yesterday. And, by "Katie and I" I mean us, Nic & Rob, and LeGreg. The Crew. We've been trying to get together for-e-ver. Everyone got to meet her new-ish puppy, Maddie. Maddie was a rescue and supposedly "sheppard mix", but her little beard and wispy rib hair suggest maybe a little terrier. Whatever she is, we and Skybo loved her. The dogs ran around all afternoon, playing so hard that Maddie lost one of her baby molars and Skybo got to act tough with his crazy eyes all day. I think he fell in love with the bearded lady.

The Shoes I'm Rocking Today

2011-10-14T08:15:00.000-07:00

Haven't done one of these in a while! Nic and I went to DSW last night and I picked up these beauts. On clearance. Duh. $30. CL by Chinese Laundry. So far, they are absurdly comfy. And sparkly.

Picture of the Day

2011-10-13T21:41:00.000-07:00

In/around Hana we found a cave with a crystal clear fresh water pool in it, fabled to be the place a princess hid from a king (....or prince?) and also where he killed her when he found her. Read that off a plaque to the kids. Should have probably pre-read the story, because they were obsessed with dead princesses after that. Pretty rad spot, though. Minus the 8329 mosquito bites on my legs from it.

Pic from my brother, Graham (shown).

Picture of the Day

2011-10-13T18:45:00.000-07:00

This tree was outside the winery we went to in Hawaii. LeGreg asked someone inside what it was. She said she didn't know, but that she'd tried one and it tasted like a mix between a tomato and a cherry. Naturally, LeGreg HAD TO TRY. Half a tooth into the bite, he was spitting and hissing. I'd say "lesson learned", but probably not.

Picture of the Day

2011-10-12T01:47:00.000-07:00

Lots of canoe goings on near our condos, with some sort of canoe club just down the beach.

H fam in Hawaii

2011-10-11T18:09:00.000-07:00

Summed up:

Whole family. In Hawaii. BOOM.
Went to Haleakala at 4am for the sunrise with Dad, LeGreg, my sister, and a brother.
FROZE OUR BALLS OFF. Holy crap. So. Cold. But beautiful.
Meandered our way home, stopping at a little local cafe for breakfast and a mountain-side winery.
Everyone went to a luau. I ended up on stage with my niece and nephew, shaking our groove thangs. Then my sister, Faryn, was drug on stage by one of the oiled up mens. I know that they're cheesy and so touristy, but I love a good luau!
Went with both brothers & wives, sister, and LeGreg snorkeling to Molokini and some turtle heaven cove place. Was awesome. Pacific Whale Foundation. Look them up. Saw a pod of a bout 200 rare melon-headed whales, which had all of the marine biologists on board losing their shit. Also saw a bunch of turtles, an eel, octopus (well, one bro did). Great trip.
Drove the entire group to Hana, mostly without incident. A little shocking. It was also awesome, though.
So glad that LeGreg and my siblings got to know each other better and spend some time together.
Lots of beach time and driving and sun and laughter.

Picture of the Day

2011-10-11T00:45:00.000-07:00

Back from Hawaii. Can't say I'm super stoked about that. In fact, it's almost 1am and I'm still up, because I know that when I go to sleep and wake up, real life has to start again. Boo.

San Jose Rock n Roll 1/2 Marathon 10/2/11

2011-10-03T10:06:00.000-07:00

I ran my first half marathon two years ago. At the start, I could already tell it was one of my "on" days. I felt great and light and moved pretty well. At mile 10, I totally psyched myself out, because I had never run more than 10 miles before. IN MY LIFE. Those last 3 miles were torture and whoever said you get an adrenalin rush at the last mile could suck it because every step was heavy and hard. After that race, I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. And insanity. I could barely walk for 3 days, thought I broke or fractured my foot and I never wanted to do it again and didn't run for 2 years when I...decided to do it again? Is this like the decision to have a second baby? The memory isn't nearly as bad as the event actually was?

I started training 3 months ago. It started off a little rough, but got better. Then I fell on my face. No big deal.

3 weeks before the run, Nicole decided to do it with me. 2 days before the race her boyfriend, Rob, decided to do it, too. I thought they were slightly insane for signing up so close to it, but they're both super athletic and I sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to plant a seed of doubt. That's the worst.

We showed up bright and early yesterday morning with my #1 cheerleader, LeGreg. After checking in a bag and getting ready and stretching and meeting up with another friend and doing all the things, it was go time.

I had said from the get go that I wasn't planning on staying with anyone during the run. Not because I was sure I'd be a speed demon, or something, but because the race was SO hard for me last time that I knew adding an unpredictable element, like worrying about someone else's pace, would be detrimental. It's had enough focusing on your own pace when you're surrounded by thousands of people. I stuck with our other friend for 3 miles before she told me she was going to walk for a while. Then I was allllll alone.

This race was SO much better than the last time. I considered walking for juuuuust a block or so about 83x last time, although I never actually did. I didn't have that at all this time. I hit the 10 mile marker and got pumped that I only had 3 miles left. 3 miles sounds a lot shorter than 35 mins, so I opted to not think of the time. The last 3 miles felt like they flew by, especially the last one. So different than 2 years ago. SO much more...enjoyable! During and after the run, I felt confident that I could make this an annual event. I mean....we'll see, but at least it's a thought this time!

I crossed the finish line to find LeGreg, his parents, my mom and her friend, and my brother/sis in law/nephew waiting. The support was awesome!

Nic and Rob finished shortly after I did, both running more than twice as far as they'd ever run before. EVER. BEFORE. That is so legit. They kicked ass.

After all was said and done, we hobbled back to my parents house for a no pool pool party and lounged around, eating mac n cheese and drinking beer for the rest of the afternoon.

I was passed out by 9pm last night. Felt pretty damn good!

You guys. IT'S PUMPKIN DAY!

2011-10-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY STORIES!

2011-09-30T13:42:00.000-07:00

Story #1-
Nic and I went to a Sharks game last night. Hockey is 1002% more fun and exciting live than on tv. On our way, this happened:
Rob-I went running today and felt blech half way through (orrr.....something like that).
Nic-well at least you didn't almost get hit by a car on your run, like I did!
Me-At least neither of you fell on your face when you were running.

I won.

Story #2-
The joys of living with someone include knowing them REALLY well. Knowing their routine, what they eat, how they bruise. One time, in the dorms, this happened (Nic and I couldn't decide if I had told this story before, but both agreed that it would be worth re-telling if I had):

Me: Wtf is that giant bruise on your leg from?
Nic: What bruise?
Me: Are you shitting me? The MASSIVE black and blue bruise on your thigh.
Nic: Oh, that? Huh...hadn't really noticed it. Guess I bumped into something.
Me: Bullshit. You don't bruise easily enough to have a hematoma on your leg and not know how you got it. Wtf happened.
Nic: Seriously! I don't know!
Me: (giving the "bitch just spill because I know your ass is lying and we BOTH know you'll end up telling me eventually" look). Bull. Shit. Spill.
Nic:....Alright FINE, GOD. I was taking a shower and went to reach to get my shampoo off our shelf in the corner, outside of the shower, and slipped and landed with all of my weight on my thigh on the rim of the bathtub and tried to grab the towel bar thing to break my fall but it ripped out of the wall and no one knows yet because I jimmied it back together and put my towel on it to cover it up.
Me (between tears): Please tell me you were drunk
Nic: ...I wish I could.

San Diego was good times...and my friends are better off not lying to me.

Picture of the Day

2011-09-29T05:35:00.000-07:00

Skybo's not great at that whole "running in a straight line" thing.

Day 2

2011-09-28T07:27:00.000-07:00

Day 1

Picture of the Day

2011-09-28T05:56:00.000-07:00

We stopped by Flight to get some wine. I crave their calamari all day EVERY DAY, but was told that the cooks had just gotten there and it might be too early. No biggie. LeGreg said "That's ok, we'll just get the meat platter". We somehow assumed that it was known that we wanted the salami plate, so when the pate plate was plopped down in front of us, I looked at LeGreg. LeGreg looked at me. We shrugged and dug in. I can't say that I would ever order it again, but this is probably the only way I would try it. Two of them were decent, the third tasted just as much like cat food as they all looked. Whole seed mustard is the ish, though.

I'm awesome

2011-09-27T19:35:00.000-07:00

So there I am.

5 days before a half marathon.

I'm towards the beginning of a 4.5 mile run, feeling really good. I ran 10 miles on Sunday and it went really well. My shorter runs have felt pretty quick, and today was the same. I was running with my head held high, thinking that maybe I should pre-register for next years half marathon and thinking that maybe I'll actually stick with this whole running thing. And be a RUNNER! I'm ok at it!

The universe heard that and was all "LMAO! Bitch, sit down".

Without even a stumble, I was flat on my face before I even realized that I was falling. Literally.

I caught myself with the heels of palms and my kneecaps, and I hit the bill of my hat so hard that it knocked it off my head. It happened so fast that it took me a second to figure out if the sound was my hat or my forehead. Thank GOD it was my hat. My nose was thisclose to the ground.

Did I mention that I was running on the sidewalk of the busiest street around in the middle of rush hour? Yeah.

So I popped up, shoved my hat back on my head, concluded that nothing was broken or ripped or exploded and ran 3 more miles.

Nothing with ruin your pace and mental well being like the adrenalin rush and then crash of humiliating yourself in public and then running like a damn high stepping horse over every single dingle nook and cranny in the sidewalks.

Only me.

Kneecaps are overrated, right?

Can't wait for the bruises to really shine through.

Go me.

Picture of the Day

2011-09-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

Did I throw a shit fit and get all screechy panicky when LeGreg egged Skybo on to monkey climb up a sheer cliff made out of loose gravel? Noooooo......maybe.

Yes.

Book Review

2011-09-26T12:27:00.000-07:00

If you haven't already, get your ass to the nearest book store/library/whatever and READ THESE THREE BOOKS. Some of the most captivating books I've ever read. Amazeballs.

Picture of the Day

2011-09-26T08:23:00.000-07:00

Picture of the Day

2011-09-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

Skybo sits fancy